Weight and Other Things That Make Me Crazy – The Cleanse – Day 1

Today I started a 10 day food cleanse.  I am part of Suzanne Evans’ 10K Club to build my coaching business.  One of the coaches we have available to us is Roberta Mittman who is a naturopathic doctor and she has organized a 10 day Food Cleanse for anyone of us in 10K who are interested in joining.  I have been struggling with my diet and getting back to healthy eating so when she offered this, after a bit of hemming and hawing (the chocolate and wine were screaming in my ear “NOOoooooooooo!!!”), I signed up.

I am writing about my cleanse because I wanted to share my “journey into madness” with you in the hopes of showing the human side to this experience.  To show you that even if you struggle, you can still keep going.  That none of us are perfect and really, truth be known, we all struggle with this life at times.  Even people who know what to do when it comes to diet, exercise and a healthy lifestyle still struggle, still fall down, still gives in to the cravings and still have the same challenges.  It’s the human condition.  I have struggled with this being a coach because “I should know better” but that fact of the matter is we all struggle and it’s through the struggles that we become powerful.

Recently it seems that change could not come in to my life fast enough.  I was engaged, broke up, met the man of my dreams, had a sick dog that I adored that I finally had to make the heart wrenching decision to put her down.  I then found a new home so decided to move.  The week before I moved I went to Vegas for a seminar.  The week after I got back I moved.  Then the week or two after that I was in New Brunswick meeting my new boyfriend’s friends and family.  We got back from there and I was off to Miami for the 10K club.  Oh yeah, I signed away my life savings to join the 10 K club. I am changing jobs and working on building my coaching business.  And, oh yes, my brother who I absolutely adore and who is like my soul mate had a heart attack the day after I had to put my dog down.  So, although a good portion of the changes were awesome, they were all stressful.  Now, had I been binging on carrot sticks and herbal tea, well, I would have been fine but my drugs of choice to soothe the scared little girl inside me and shut out the fear and the stress was sugar, chocolate and wine.  Now, I am not going to lie, if you are going to kill yourself slowly, it’s a tasty way to go.  But, you see, I know better.  I have been over 200 pounds and a size 22 and I have been 153 pounds and a size 8.  I lost over 40 pounds and kept it off for about 4 years.  I did great. And then slowly, as these things can happen, I started to fall away from what I knew and before I knew it my diet was garbage and my body was unhappy. The reality is that I am almost 50 and if I want to get into my 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s healthy, then I need to make some changes.

So, this cleanse is not an act of punishment but rather an act of love for myself.  I am choosing me.  Choosing to take care of this body of mine so I can build my coaching business and have the positive effect on this world that I dream to have.  So I can love the man who has come into my life and take care of him like I want to.  So I can be healthy for my son and our grandchildren for years to come.  So I can enjoy my life to the absolute most with my body supporting me in my journey.  Will I struggle along the way? There will be moments.  Habits die hard and the cravings are bound to start screaming my name.  It is my choice as to what I do about it.  If my cravings have a tantrum, I can either choose to give in once again or I can choose to acknowledge and then not satisfy the craving.  Ignoring the craving is like trying to ignore a screaming three year old in a grocery store.  Even though you are trying to ignore it, you can still hear the screams and eventually you will give in to the screams.  Acknowledging the cravings and what they mean is empowering.

My cravings tell me many things – I am bored, hungry, stressed, not feeling heard, nervous, angry, feeling ignored, etc.  My cravings can also tell me my body needs something – water, exercise, some meditation time, proper nutrition, rest, etc.  It is when I stop and really lean in to those cravings that I can learn so much and I suspect this cleanse is going to teach me a lot.  I choose to lean in to the cravings, lean in to the moments of wanting, moments of feeling some relief, moments when I feel my body releasing the toxins.  Each moment, if I stop, listen and hear will teach me a lot.

I hope you will join me in my journey.  I plan on being real and being honest, as hard as that may be at times when I am struggling but I want this to be a journey where not only I am learning but you can maybe see parts of you in my journey.  Life, no matter what happens to us, is a series of choices and a series of moments where we have no control over what is happening.  But we always have a choice in our attitude and how we react.  This cleanse is no different. Let the fun begin!!

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