This morning I was reading from Louise L. Hay’s book called “Inspirations to Heal Your Life” and she was talking about relationships and how the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. People, family, lovers, spouses – they all come and go but the relationship with ourself is eternal. I have come across various reminders along this same theme lately which means the Universe must be trying to remind me of something. I am realizing that in my own life making peace with myself and learning to truly love and accept myself, just as I am, warts, wounded heart, gifts and all, is essential. If I can’t show love and acceptance for myself, how am I going to be able to show that to others? If I can’t love and accept myself then I am not going to take care of myself like I should. Think about it – how many problems are caused because we haven’t learned to love and accept ourselves just as we are in this very moment? How many of us eat to shut off our feelings and keep people away, drink to not feel or not look within, use drugs, not exercise, work ourselves to death, and the list goes on. Have you noticed that when you are having conflicts with others, that most of the time it’s not about them but what you see in them that you least like about yourself? That part of you that is totally unacceptable? Let me give you an example – I have struggled with my weight my whole life and have felt “less than” because I was overweight. When I saw an overweight person, I immediately went to judgment. Why? It had nothing to do with them, but everything to do with me. Their weight was a reflection of my own issues. Another example – I get upset because I feel like my mother can be very needy and irresponsible but what I am really getting upset about is that part of me who is needy and irresponsible but I try so hard to deny it. I am so independent and tend to try to do it all and do it myself but I resent doing that. I deny that part of me who allows myself to be needy and irresponsible at times. Does this make sense?
Loving and accepting ourselves is the key to any personal transformation. If you are wanting to lose weight, or quit drinking or change your life in any way, the first step is making peace with yourself. It won’t happen overnight but a start may be to notice when you feel triggered by others or when you start to go into judgment. Have a look at how you are feeling. Is there anything in there that is about you and how you feel about yourself? If there is, then thank the Universe for bringing this to your awareness. This is the first step! I would suggest starting a journal and keeping track of a few things. One, the moments when you are triggered and what it was about. Two, a list of all the things you did today. Your accomplishments, the moments when you were proud of what you did, the times you showed the best part of yourself, the times when you really felt at one with yourself. In life we get what we focus on. If we focus on what we are not, we get more of that but if we can focus on what we did right, our strengths, our parts of ourselves we admire, we will nurture that relationship with ourself and become the best “we” we can be. Here’s to a day of loving yourself just as you are!